arggh... so much for today. AGAIN.
its 4 20pm goin dark fast - i just awake - its so grim out there its unbelievable..clouds of freezing fog slowlly rolling over the land lit up in batches by the headlights of the rush hour gridlocked traffic and the sky is a dark grim all covering ominipresent grey.
i'm goin to force myself into town a 10 mins walk away once i can be bothered to get dressed.. its been like endless night for the last few days - i work nights..almost all my life since i was 18..
finished work saturday at 5 am - then stupidly enough got onto this thing and was talkin to a girl who i work with till 9-10 am - why we couldnt do this at a more normal hour i dont know.. the plan was too sleep for 2-3 hours then awake to go shop - get some bacon and oatcakes (its a stoke thing) for sunday breakfast/lunch. this didnt happen of course - 5 30 - awakess.... its dark - not goin out there. shops shut etc... i eats crunchy nut cornflakes and watch tv - bill and ted's bogus journey at 6pm - class film - cheers me up abit..watch second half of XXX while pizza is cookin - caught it the instant orbital were playin that cheezy russian rave thing - funnny tho. - then watched rome on bbc1. - fired up the sequencer at midnight... did some structuring to a loop i been workin on the last few days.... its VERY dark :| woooo.
felt tired . went sleep at 1 am in ma clothes - thought i might make it till 6 or 7.
3 am awakes - goes back online - chats abit - does some myspace stuff.. flick on tv about 5 am watch world new today.... 5 30 check out who's on this years I AM A CELEBRITY LEAVE ME IN THIS JUNGLE TO ROT - nobody really of interest. oh well. 6 30 - go back bed thinkin get up about 10 or 11 i can go get some bacon and egg sandwhiches from the pie shop down the street and do stuff in the day. - don't feel i need to set alarm clock as i've slept enough.
3 30 pm i wake up. - fuck. its just confusing and does my head in. its 4 40pm now - i gotta go to town get some food but its dark and cold and i dont wanna go out and its rush hour and everythin is busy and i'm just awakin.. so no doubt i'll be awake all night again lurkin in ma room with the boxes and flashin lights..
i need to wash and put some fresh clothes on - its freezing in ma bathroom...no heating - its below zero outside too. argh.
so yeah - all makes me feel abit crappy really
better go now - everywhere closes at 5 30 and its 4 45...
:|
Monday, 21 November 2005
Friday, 18 November 2005
ableton live 5 SASHA EDITION wow amazing check out screens!!
wow check out this actual screenshot from ableton live 5 SASHA EDITION - mega smashin super like 
HAAAAaaaaaa haaaaaaaa wow! - now we can be all great digital dj's now wooooooo yay
HAAAAaaaaaa haaaaaaaa wow! - now we can be all great digital dj's now wooooooo yay
Monday, 14 November 2005
the strange missingness of old online worlds and the accleration of time.. (repost)
the strange missingness of old online worlds and the accleration of time..
i FEEL disconnected - yet i am online and connected faster than before ... i went through old images, and messages of ppl and things that i have collected over the years from being online and - with the exception of a few people who i am active with on messenger - it feels like everyone has gone...... and not been replaced
where did they all go? out into the sunlight away from the pc ? - with wireless and them scary little net phones - even in the sun ya can chat away - maybe ppl are just bored with typing in chat windows?
being active on a webpage thing like this is different alot from messenger .... i have yet to make the logical leap into this fully - i still dont really understand - do u just message random people? find groups i guess - add ppl who like - make - similar music to me - i dunno.
maybe they are all playin games? either shootin eachother or existin in vast online gamin universes... i've been considerin gettin a second life http://secondlife.com/ ... i MISS the 3d chat world which i was introduced to years ago on my pentium 2 400mhz thing... when that was fast...
i used to hang out in a place called www.cybertown.com - it really was ma first introduction to chat messagin - and u had a 3d body - in a world - and it TALKED .... in a robotic voice but when ya first chatrooom experience is havin some giant barny avitar say HELLLO to ya - it does make an impact...
i hanged out in CT for 2 years - spendin most of ma time baskin on a rock on sunset beach.. as a red robotic worm :|
then it got too moderated - i could understand the problems with ppl constantly swearin etc ... police would turn up in bladerunnner style skimmers - and ED209 robots...and throw em in the jail for a few days! u could even go visit...
but - it got too much - when i couldnt say that i was smokin a ciggie and havin a beer... cause their might be minors in the room - dear god - u couldnt say ANYTHIN at all in the end.... it was so sugary and shallow.... so moved onto the wildlands of yahoo...
no 3d there but cam and the mic made up for it ! - the electronica rooms DID have some music chat and u could meet some genuine interestin ppl there... who talked about - and more importantly actually created or had serious interest in things - it was cool and i made friends and met ppl i liked..
now for the most part - they have gone - and what ya got left are REALLY young kids - mostly with a passion for basic trance and superfast shallow hardcore - who fight for the mic and boot - yahoo becomin unuserable cause of the bots.... and indians - just why so many indians think its socially exceptable to just message u privately and go HI ASL *BUZZZZZZ* i dont know -
where did they all go? out into the sunlight away from the pc ? - with wireless and them scary little net phones - even in the sun ya can chat away - maybe ppl are just bored with typing in chat windows?
i might try and get a second life - ma first one is stagnant - virtually mirroring the onlife in someways - i rarely see - meet anyone who shares common interests - my old friends are mostly settled down with kids,family etc - there is no scene here to get involved in - (mosly young CHAV skum - listenin to hardcore and shitty trance) - only comercial hellholes for an alternative - or rock nights...not my thing really .... nuthin more quirky or offbeat.. my firstlife is work - track design and the ocassional holiday - beer with old friends..
i think i'm gettin jaded...everythin is the same - i can now begin to understand why time becomes faster when u get older - things become routine - u have less to do to excite the brain - less things make u wake up and really do somethin new that day - so - all days and weeks and months blur more and more into a smooth stream of time - ocassionally pepped by a bright shining event - wether it was a good thing or bad.. and those events become less each year and - the ones u remember - less interesting.... especially compared to the ones u have in memory from years before..
writing it down like this atleast gives me the memory of this thought - otherwise it would just be gone - or naggin me in ma head.. now its out there down on the 010101111's i can look at it and then down to ma fat belly which is developin due to ma sittin around watchin time go faster and faster BI..
its 11am hot and sunny i need to go and rest ma eyes.
HMMMmm...maybe they didnt go anywhere - maybe they just changed and got other interests now - and - i'm stil the same :|
i FEEL disconnected - yet i am online and connected faster than before ... i went through old images, and messages of ppl and things that i have collected over the years from being online and - with the exception of a few people who i am active with on messenger - it feels like everyone has gone...... and not been replaced
where did they all go? out into the sunlight away from the pc ? - with wireless and them scary little net phones - even in the sun ya can chat away - maybe ppl are just bored with typing in chat windows?
being active on a webpage thing like this is different alot from messenger .... i have yet to make the logical leap into this fully - i still dont really understand - do u just message random people? find groups i guess - add ppl who like - make - similar music to me - i dunno.
maybe they are all playin games? either shootin eachother or existin in vast online gamin universes... i've been considerin gettin a second life http://secondlife.com/ ... i MISS the 3d chat world which i was introduced to years ago on my pentium 2 400mhz thing... when that was fast...
i used to hang out in a place called www.cybertown.com - it really was ma first introduction to chat messagin - and u had a 3d body - in a world - and it TALKED .... in a robotic voice but when ya first chatrooom experience is havin some giant barny avitar say HELLLO to ya - it does make an impact...
i hanged out in CT for 2 years - spendin most of ma time baskin on a rock on sunset beach.. as a red robotic worm :|
then it got too moderated - i could understand the problems with ppl constantly swearin etc ... police would turn up in bladerunnner style skimmers - and ED209 robots...and throw em in the jail for a few days! u could even go visit...
but - it got too much - when i couldnt say that i was smokin a ciggie and havin a beer... cause their might be minors in the room - dear god - u couldnt say ANYTHIN at all in the end.... it was so sugary and shallow.... so moved onto the wildlands of yahoo...
no 3d there but cam and the mic made up for it ! - the electronica rooms DID have some music chat and u could meet some genuine interestin ppl there... who talked about - and more importantly actually created or had serious interest in things - it was cool and i made friends and met ppl i liked..
now for the most part - they have gone - and what ya got left are REALLY young kids - mostly with a passion for basic trance and superfast shallow hardcore - who fight for the mic and boot - yahoo becomin unuserable cause of the bots.... and indians - just why so many indians think its socially exceptable to just message u privately and go HI ASL *BUZZZZZZ* i dont know -
where did they all go? out into the sunlight away from the pc ? - with wireless and them scary little net phones - even in the sun ya can chat away - maybe ppl are just bored with typing in chat windows?
i might try and get a second life - ma first one is stagnant - virtually mirroring the onlife in someways - i rarely see - meet anyone who shares common interests - my old friends are mostly settled down with kids,family etc - there is no scene here to get involved in - (mosly young CHAV skum - listenin to hardcore and shitty trance) - only comercial hellholes for an alternative - or rock nights...not my thing really .... nuthin more quirky or offbeat.. my firstlife is work - track design and the ocassional holiday - beer with old friends..
i think i'm gettin jaded...everythin is the same - i can now begin to understand why time becomes faster when u get older - things become routine - u have less to do to excite the brain - less things make u wake up and really do somethin new that day - so - all days and weeks and months blur more and more into a smooth stream of time - ocassionally pepped by a bright shining event - wether it was a good thing or bad.. and those events become less each year and - the ones u remember - less interesting.... especially compared to the ones u have in memory from years before..
writing it down like this atleast gives me the memory of this thought - otherwise it would just be gone - or naggin me in ma head.. now its out there down on the 010101111's i can look at it and then down to ma fat belly which is developin due to ma sittin around watchin time go faster and faster BI..
its 11am hot and sunny i need to go and rest ma eyes.
HMMMmm...maybe they didnt go anywhere - maybe they just changed and got other interests now - and - i'm stil the same :|
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